CrazyMartialArtsGuy Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 Ill try and make this as quick as i can but basically what happened was My uncle wanted me to go visit him for some reason(i usually help him fix computer problems) however he is an alcoholic and smokes as well witch doesn't mean he is a bad person but I have to question his company after today. I arrive at his place , side note I was on my way to Aikido. Well anyways he had one of his friends daughters over(she was 25, i'm 18) he needed to have me take her on a few errands so I did, she was an ok girl but had a fair share of problems( she has a 2 year old with a real piece of work dad is what she told me, she wasn't raised around the best company) Well I take her back to his place and she asked if she could have a ride home after Aikido, so being the gentlemen I am I say yes(I don't have any interest in her at this point just because of the crap she is involved and she is 6 years older than me) Well I finish Aikido and head over, her dad went over sometime while i was gone and comes out stone drunk. This guy who I just met wanted me to drive to the next town over and take him to the freaking bar. I told him no as nicely as possible, well before I take them home the girl needed to stop by wallmart which was fine. Well we get there, she needs to go inside so me and the other guy wait. Well he starts whistling to women walking out of the store and asks me if i'm single which i am. He then starts encouraging me in disgusting ways to hook up with his daughter, he was using very explicit details that made me feel really uncomfortable which caused to get a little defensive. He then started getting a little aggressive which triggered my fight or flight instinctive Luckily it didn't escalate to me actually having to defend myself from this guy, she finishes up and I take them home. I just have a feeling of disgust mixed with anger and a little bit of fear. I have empathy for anyone growing up having to deal with people like this on a daily basis. I'm very shaken up right now and could use a little advice on getting passed this and dealing with these types of situations, if i'm ever involved with which i hope I never have to deal with again. I havent been here to long but I know there are allot of good people on this forum and I appreciate any help you can give me, I have my friends at my back and am going to be ok, its just I would like to here some kind words from you guys because I really think you guys are awesome. ps is there a chance i'm overreacting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sakura Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 While it's hard to judge the situation without knowing the people, I'm almost positive that you aren't overreacting. It's never a good situation to be in, and some times people just aren't themselves when they're drunk. You have to remember that, and the best possible thing you can do is not confront them or point out how drunk they are. This can cause the situation to escalate to the point where you might need to defend yourself, but it sounds like you were able to handle it well so that it didn't get to that point. Just, I want to stress again that when someone's drunk they're not in a good frame of mind to reason with. You say what you need to in order to diffuse the situation, and then handle it properly (if needed) when they're not intoxicated. I hope you don't have to deal with it again either, but for what it's worth, it sounds like you handled it the best you could given the situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcaith Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 I wouldn't let it get to you. Some people are like that, and have little regard for the way others are feeling. It's best to avoid being defensive, if you can steer the conversation into neutral topics, do so. Most important thing to remember is that they aren't censoring themselves, because they aren't really able to. Keep that in mind, because they're going to be brutally honest, and will expect you to agree with them. Otherwise, you seemed to handle it okay. I'd also keep in mind that if you repeatedly make yourself available, they'll take advantage of that, especially when drunk. Don't let yourself become a doormat, because people, especially when drunk, will cling to people that make things happen for them without effort on their part. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mellow Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 I think you handled the situation quite well. Things like that can be very stressful, and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, in fact, it's good that you felt like that, it means that you're actually a good person. I agree with you, no one should have to grow up with people like that, but people so often do. It's just how the world works, there are good people, and then there are a lot of bad people. You have to do what you can to change that, but not let it get to you too much when you fail. Just keep trying. Also, a piece of advice, people like that... I'd stay away from. Not all alcoholics are bad, but this guy definitely is. It really depends on the drunk. So, if at all possible, I'd keep my distance from him, if I were you. You've earned a great deal of respect from me, as well. Just don't let it get you down and just keep on being a good guy, since the world needs more of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyMartialArtsGuy Posted October 4, 2012 Author Share Posted October 4, 2012 I appreciate all the kind words guys. Its a new day and i'm going to move on and let the hole thing go, I just wan to be prepared if I ever get caught in a situation like this again. I hope it doesn't sound like i'm think i'm the only one with issues because I'm aware others on this forum have dealt with things that are much harder. It really freaked me out at that moment when things really could have gotten really out of hand, but I cant imagine what it would be like if I didn't have the self defense training I do now. I don't understand the thrill of getting so drunk you cant even walk straight. I don't mind anyone who does drinks but please do it responsibly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyrin64 Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 yeah hang in there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xylaphone Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 You are not alone, my grandfather is an alocholic and I had to drive him around town once. let me just say it is a lot different knowing about an issue and then having to deal with it directly. Staying calm and being careful with your words is hard but honestly it is the best course of action. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyMartialArtsGuy Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 You are not alone, my grandfather is an alocholic and I had to drive him around town once. let me just say it is a lot different knowing about an issue and then having to deal with it directly. Staying calm and being careful with your words is hard but honestly it is the best course of action. Sorry to here that... someone earlier today at school mentioned I should have walked away but my uncle tends to make a big deal out of everything, its either is way or hell basically. I guess i went along with it because it wasn't to REALLY MAJOR situation. Alcoholics like the guy I was dealing with are the worst, I refuse to ever have anything to do with him again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EpicEbilninja Posted October 8, 2012 Share Posted October 8, 2012 well, I may not know enough about all of this, but saying no probably would have been for the best when you think about it, would you say no, causing him to make a big deal over the situation, or say yes, and drive a possibly violent, unstable, drunken man around town sometimes a few feelings will have to be hurt, but it would be for the best I wouldn't talk about it to him, but it is not a good thing for him to keep him doing, not just for him, but everybody around him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zurg Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 You aren't overreacting, the lifestyle of some people can be extremely shocking to those who are (for the most part) normal. Unfortunately there are many people on this Earth that are just like the ones you encountered. You seemed to have handled them the best way you could have though honestly, good thing you are mature or that might have not been the case. That's pretty much all you can do around bad people, especially bad and drunk people. Alcohol does some shitty things to the mind, it's one of the worst drugs in my opinion. People are not themselves while they are intoxicated, they're levels of common sense and decision making skills are virtually non-existent, which I'm sure you already know. Discomfort and anger are two emotions I know -very- well and trust me I know they are even worse when caused by other people. Just do your best to ignore it, you just had a bad day and you did all you could. You should be proud of yourself honestly, nobody got hurt. I praise you for not punching the guy square in his mouth for talking like that about his own daughter, I'm not even sure if I have that kind of restraint. It is really hard to avoid these types of people in the world, they are everywhere. Let them live their lives the way they see fit, regardless of how wrong it may seem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrazyMartialArtsGuy Posted October 11, 2012 Author Share Posted October 11, 2012 You aren't overreacting, the lifestyle of some people can be extremely shocking to those who are (for the most part) normal. Unfortunately there are many people on this Earth that are just like the ones you encountered. You seemed to have handled them the best way you could have though honestly, good thing you are mature or that might have not been the case. That's pretty much all you can do around bad people, especially bad and drunk people. Alcohol does some shitty things to the mind, it's one of the worst drugs in my opinion. People are not themselves while they are intoxicated, they're levels of common sense and decision making skills are virtually non-existent, which I'm sure you already know. Discomfort and anger are two emotions I know -very- well and trust me I know they are even worse when caused by other people. Just do your best to ignore it, you just had a bad day and you did all you could. You should be proud of yourself honestly, nobody got hurt. I praise you for not punching the guy square in his mouth for talking like that about his own daughter, I'm not even sure if I have that kind of restraint. It is really hard to avoid these types of people in the world, they are everywhere. Let them live their lives the way they see fit, regardless of how wrong it may seem. All though I haven't been doing it to long, My martial arts teaches me to have self control and only defend yourself, never assault others. If i didn't have what experience I do have...I can help but to wonder how different things would be if I didn't have the best patience and self control I do now. It could have been much worse. Anyway guys its been a little over a week and i'm doing great. I didn't need to post this here but I appreciate every one of your words anyway. I'm over this hole thing, but it has made me more cautious and I made sure my uncle knows I am not to ever deal with his drunken friends ever again. He is always helping me out with cash and this time was no exception but no amount of money can make me want to put myself in that situation again.(well maybe a million dollars but hell who wouldn't lol XD) Anyway admins go ahead and lock this post, delete it, whatever. I've moved on and have no need for it anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sakura Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Automatic generated message This topic has been closed by a moderator. Reason: Locked on request. If you disagree with this action, please report this post and a moderator or administrator will reconsider it. Kind regards, The Gamer's Collective Network Staff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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